How do you lead when you’re not the main leader? How do you build trust and influence when you’re not in charge? How do you stay faithful, aligned, and encouraged when navigating strained relationships or unclear expectations?
Being in this position can be difficult. Every person has a different personality, gifts, and abilities. Everyone has a different ministry assignment, and, yet at the same time, we’re all on the same team. So, how do we pull the mission forward together?
Kick Two Things to the Curb
If you want to lead well when you’re not the top leader, there are two mindsets you’ve got to throw out right away.
The first one says, “I could do it better.”
It’s easy to sit in the passenger seat and think you could drive better, but until you sit behind the wheel, you don’t really know what it takes. Instead of letting this thought create unrest, flip it and ask, “What can I learn?”
The second thought to reject is, “I’d do better if I were somewhere else.”
Here’s the thing—no, you probably wouldn’t. We’re not in our roles by accident. If God called you where you presently serve, then plant your feet. Be all there, be present and remain faithful to follow well and lead well.
Seven Ways to Lead When You’re Not in Charge
Leading is hard, even from the second chair, so you must be prayerful. Pray for your leaders, pray for your own heart, and pray for God to work in the places that seem stuck or strained. Don’t underestimate how much God can do in and through you for the advancement of HIS kingdom.
Be faithful in your work, your walk, and your relationships. Be helpful. Don’t just show up; contribute something valuable. Build the mission with your words, your attitude, and your presence.
Here are seven practices that have helped me thrive when I wasn’t in the top seat, and I believe they can help you too.
- Cultivate a Healthy SoulIf you don’t take care of your soul, nothing else will work. If you’re tired, spiritually dry, or emotionally burnt out, you won’t lead well, and others will feel it.
Three things must be in place to create a healthy soul: pace, diet, and rest.
- Pace: Only you can regulate your pace. Ministry is a marathon. Runners know their hydration, heart rate, nutrition, and stride. Do you?
- Diet: You can’t outrun your fork. I’m not just talking about food; I mean spiritually.
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- Are you praying? Not just talking about it but actually doing it?
- Are you in the Word for your own soul, not just your next message?
- Are you serving from overflow or from fumes?
- Rest: Take strategic breaks. I don’t mean to be lazy but be thoughtful to take intentional pauses. Even Ironman athletes intentionally take a break to refuel. Rest is part of endurance with excellence.
- Communicate Consistently
Think of communication like a cross. You’re in the center. Communicate up to your leaders, down to those you lead, and sideways to your teammates.
Don’t assume others know the details of what’s going on in your ministry. Share your plans, invite input, and give updates, especially upstream.
Make your communication clear, concise, and complete.
- Clear: Don’t confuse.
- Concise: Don’t ramble.
- Complete: Do your best to provide others what they need for everyone to succeed.
- Build Trust
Build relationships with your leaders, peers, and team, but do it for the right reason. God has called us to love people. If your motive is off, if you’re trying to work the system, even if no one else sees it, God does. Check your heart. Repent often.
- Align Ministry
Design your ministry to be a tributary, not a distributary. Feed the momentum of the church instead of pulling away from it. Don’t build your own pond or a silo. Ministries that isolate themselves will stagnate.
Discern what your lead pastor is trying to build and align your ministry with that. Join the mission and fuel it with the leadership influence God has given you.
- Collaborate
Collaboration doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentionality.
- Invite: Ask people into your circle. Welcome their input. If you want accountability or feedback, you’ve got to say so.
- Initiate: Don’t wait. Send the text first. Ask for the lunch. Bring people into the process.
- Evaluate: Not just privately. Ask others how it went. What went right? What needs to improve?
It’s natural to reflect on ministry or past events alone but ask others what they saw and how they think it could have been better. This builds a better ministry and deeper trust.
- Remain Flexible
The longer you’re in ministry, the less flexible you become unless you stretch. Truth doesn’t change, but methods do. If all you’re doing is repeating what worked ten years ago, you’re probably missing what God is doing today.
Choosing to alter your plan may feel like weakness, but being willing to be flexible is a sign of wisdom. Stay open to new ways of doing things, new leadership styles, and new seasons. Stay coachable. This serves the team.
- Remain Faithful
This is a spiritual battle. The world, the flesh, and the devil never take a day off. You can’t take off either. Even on a vacation you must be armed for the spiritual battle that continues to rage. If you aren’t prepared the spiritual battle will create great harm. So much so that sometimes people quit ministry without ever leaving their role. They’re still on the team, but they’ve thrown in the towel. God has more for you than to be that person.
If you’re tired, then take a break, catch your breath, talk to someone, and get the help you need, but stay faithful. Stay in the fight. Love well, live well and lead well.
Remember, this is the Lord’s work. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. As we abide in Him faithfully, He will bring much fruit. Leadership from the second seat isn’t easy, but it’s holy ground. It’s where God forms your character, refines your motives, and where trust is built.
Stay humble and present. Steward what you’ve been given. Be faithful to your calling and to the One who called you.
Adapted from the Youth Leader Coaching Network. Learn more about our Youth Leader Coaching Network and sign up for the next cohort.
Published July 1, 2025
